Bubb|ed |n

Abso|ut Grandma

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:57:54 GMT

I've been trying, since I got tis baby, to cut down on my trips out for drinks n fun

I still wanna haf fun, but of coz I can't overdo it

I think I've to thank Grandma in a way. Dan n Sheila haf to b away so I've to b ard to prop my own plc up. So looks like the late nitez out r cancelled, almost. Gotta ration my energy to take care of the gals n the plc. The invitations for gd-times-out r coming in thick n fast, but if I dun grab my opportunity here at work, I dunno when the next one will b.

Dear frenz, u can still ask me out but spare me from the days I do full shifts

Almost all our faults r more pardonable
than the methods we resort to to hide them
~Francois de La Rochefoucauld~

Keane
12Nov08

Abso|ut Mumb|es

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:05:05 GMT

At times, I think of those who had conquered my heart

Some, I can remember our moments wif a snap of my fingers

Some, not worth a memory

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done stuff to chase them away from me for those I did. I do feel a tinge of regret.

But like wat 1 of them constantly reminded me, "live for the the present n the future. B happy. No joy when u keep thinking of the past".

But is it so ez?

I dun deny I think of the selected few. Yet, I've to b content wif the present. She has been great. I can't ask for much more. Sometimes, I feel guilty for thinking back. But I can't help it. Like nw.

I think of lotza "wat if's". Cuz I dun wanna repeat mistakes. Although, I know lots r based on bad habits. Yet, some of them r based on misunderstandings.

Is tis y I'm not successful in my work n my past r/s?

I know I'm not fickle-minded wif the ppl I wanna b wif. Juz tt, they were not willing to understand tt once I set my heart on someone, I won't waver.

But, they simply force me to

Right nw, I'm dating someone who accepts, so willingly, my flaws. The strange way my behaviour works. M I satisfied?

I seriously haf to qn myself n quit thinking too hard

i'm not supposed to allow it to overcome me. But it happens. I've taken to enuf stuff to keep me going n they r not gd. I've become too over-reliant.

I'd like to think I'm a matured 28-yr-old who can keep a hold of myself.I indulge in stuff tt I can't afford, forcing myself to think of solutions to overcome these shortfalls. I end up pushing myself to the limit w/o realizing it.

My wayward handling of problems r wrecking havoc. N it's only thru here tt I'm admitting it. N even so, I'm surprised. Cuz I'd like to b the sponge still.

Looks like I've reached the stage tt I've really gotta squeeze it all dry, so tt I can start absorbing again.

Stay strong Keane. Cuz u've only yourself to rely on.

"Any kind of lackadaisical activity, any sort of diverting quiddity to take a person's mind off mundane, everyday, small-change troubles."
~Guy Friddell~

Keane
3Nov2008

App|e Of The Eye~

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:58:41 GMT

They will nv comprehend tt I care
Tt I care differently

They will not realize I try my best constantly
Tt I try differently

They prefer to c the obvious and their preference than my silent yet significant efforts
Tt I dun haf to b the star

Wateva I do seem to b wrong?

For doing things differently fr u?
For expressing differently fr u?

For wat is a man, wat has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels;
N not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
N did it my way!
~Frank Sinatra~

Ppl always say

Silence Is Golden

Then I tell myself

"So I shall b the sponge n keep my damn mouth shut
So tt u all will b happy"

Saves lotz of breath

Time for a smoke n drink

Blissful indulgence

Keane
10Oct2008

P|enty Of

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:47:47 GMT

Booze
Smoke
Lounging
Work

It had been an even blend of work n play. But it has been more of the latter so I've gotta b good.

Joy will b leaving us in the next couple of days. I'm really sad but keeping as much of a stoic face as I can. It's not ez cuz we'd grown close as colleagues n she's probably the only one who knows how to handle when I flip at work.

I guez everyone's rite when they say u can't get too emotionally attached to foreign workers. They will leave u one fine day. Tt's how it has been for the past year. I felt betrayal when the gals left. At least they're in town. But tis feeling nw is different. It's lousy but we haf to move on. I juz hope tis feeling doesn't become something extremely negative. It has been such tt my distrust in ppl haf grown so much tt I dun feel positive anymore. Not tt I show it to others. Wat can they do anywayz? I juz wish my lil' darling all the best.

It has been a sober bdae period for me n I thank myself I had the willpower not to get drunk n b stupid. I'm getting old. I can feel it. Thou I always tell ppl, "It's all in the mindset." Haha... The appreciations n priorities in life r so different from, let's say, 5yrs ago. Not a very long time, but I guez tt's how it's like when u feel settled down.

I do wish, however, tt my career would b smoother. I've reached such an age n mentality tt tis is simply not enuf! I've been telling myself to work on my flaws but... Urgh!.. it's juz so difficult to get away from the same old dumb mistakes.

I've to start trying to get fit again. I need to learn how to do so w/o forgoing my cigs n beer. Call me ingenius if I can find a formula. Haha...

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations
~Faith Baldwin~

Keane
20Aug2008

Optimism

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:12:23 GMT

I remember lamenting abt this "circle of trust" thing wif ppl u consider
Your "Soul"

We bitch abt our superiors at work
We laugh, tease, check ppl out
We learn from one another

Then Juvel did it

I thought it was for real that she was going to the US wif her other half
Till I had to find out on my own it was all so not true
She came a couple of days to collect her pay n she didn't dare look at me
She said she was embarassed
I heard her side of her story. But only after I told her I saw her at her workplace.
She couldn't deny anymore

U know, I'm cool n happy u've found a betta job
My role is to groom, to nurture, to manage, to b betta than I m at my job
But I'm not here to b given a slap for asking for some honesty

Sometimes I question my ability to manage
I communicate wif my frenz n colleagues regularly
But do I know u?
Do I know myself?
M I choosing wat I want to c n not admit there's a flaw?

My 6th sense is giving me the creeps
I know there's something going on ard me
But I won't say a thing
Bring it on

On a lighter note, the ppl outside work haf given me joy. I'm not saying the ppl I c 10hrs a day, 6 times a week r not, but I feel relief when I dun think abt tis shit.

Thank you

Step out from the shadows of disappointments
Only will Happiness c light

Keane
20Jun08

Gettin' On

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:36:22 GMT

Had been at the airport wif Ym n Zy from late noon till juz. Trying to help Ym wif her Math. N it's gd Zy came too, knowing tt she wouldn't bother working on her revision if she didn't come.

Seeing how flustered they r while working on their sums reminds me of my high sch days. My mates n I would b unwittingly racing one another to complete our qns accurately in the shortest time. It did me well wif gd stead. But I feel bad when I gif Ym sums n she gets so stressed out. Told her tt I'd c her once a week not to go out n haf fun but to help her wif her Math. I mean, I know tt's the only thing I can help her wif in terms of sch. O n Eng n F&N too.

I'm glad to c Zy working hard on her sums too. She really needs someone to push her to study. She's so damn smart, yet super lazy. Hopefully I can b of help to them in tis final stretch towards their 'O's.

Been hearing different stories abt things between Fuz n Peg, n it makes me wonder y ppl can't make a r/s less complicated. I mean ppl already know wat's going on between them yet they haf to make it so difficult to comprehend. Is it tt fun?

At least I know things r going cool on my side. Currently working hard to learn how to get over tis difficult period at Wdc. The kitchen will b going thru a transition for the 3rd time. Y can't they b more open? It was tough for me too. But once I removed tt barrier of stubborn-ness I came thru well. My only problem is tt I can't move on faster than I hoped cuz of all these problems. My career progress is going thru a long pause cuz of tis n I wonder how long more tis will take again. Juz praying for the best.

Despite it all, I've been loving tis couple of mths. Work, despite its hiccups, has been alright. My frenz luv me more 'cept... Juz tt 1 troublemaker. Redundant. N someone has been treating me betta than I deserve.

Thank you for loving me

Keane
25Feb08

Circ|e Of Trust

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 15:19:03 GMT

I wonder how ppl define "circle of trust"

Understanding? Faith? Blindness?

It is somehow baffling when a person u haf shared weal n woes wif suddenly lose consciousness bcuz he didn't know wat to do

I mean... Is it so difficult? To me, it's a snap of the fingers if u know how to handle my emotions. I'm not a difficult person to handle. I listen. I may lose my cool for a short while but I'm not unreasonable. I reckon I'm matured enuf to handle the weight of situations.

But wait... I dun consider tis a huge thing to go bonkers abt. U r juz going out wif her. N we've broken up for sometime alr. It doesn't matter who she's wif as long she's well taken care of. Tt's all I ask for.

Friendships, as well as those ships I can trust to put my heart n souls into, r my utmost importance. I dun think it's so hard to put any ranking into family, work, frenz, n gals. But is there a need?

I guez if ppl understand me enuf, I dun even need to post tis. Unfortunately not. Perhaps a handful of them, to gif them some credit.

I've been happy. Thank Y.O.U.

I'm a piece of art
I dun haf to work on myself,
N I'm not complicated
Perhaps u shld

Keane
16Jan'08

Abso|ut Chi||

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 12:22:15 GMT

Shock

Bewilderment

Disappointment

Tt's wat summed up my feelings on Sat nite

But I'll stay cool no matter wat
Well, I guez there's nothing I can do but only feel tt way, can I?
Ha!

I hoped n wished tt she could spend Sunday wif me
but she chose to head out wif Ade instead
Wat did I say b4 abt my making wishes?
They nv did come true n it has happened again

Imagine how delighted I was when she agreed dinner wif me tonite!
But again, I've been let down
Not her fault tis time, cuz she has a company dinner

But when will all these end?
I've loved, I've hoped, I've made efforts
All came to naught

Well, there's always the positives out of the problems
Stayed home all of yday n today
Drank, watched tv n managed time to go for a long swim
Absolut lounging

Tried to call a couple of "long-time-no-c" frenz but well, Sunday is usually family day so tt sums it all up
N kept my evening free for her, till tt happened

Gonna go on wif tv-watching n drinking

Truth has no special time of its own
Its hour is now -- always

Keane
22Oct07

Abso|ut Si|ent |nsanity

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 20:12:57 GMT

She left me 10 yrs ago
U haf done the same nw
Thou in different circumstances, both r for the reason
2 ladies, who I gave my all to, left me for who I m

The ones in between made my heart ache less
I think they will all think I'm an ass
But I dun care

Immensed in work n talk too much crap with company
Drinking, staying in my own world or sleeping when alone

I dunno how else to keep myself sane

Keane
7Oct'07

Anger Management

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 15:47:47 GMT

I still dun exactly remember y I went mad on Sunday nite

Stress?
Silent anger?
Self-blame?

Beats me!

But all I know I'm feeling the effects

The boys r probably right
But I'm either juz plain stubborn or simply blind

I tell almost everyone to smile n laugh their troubles away
It seems so simple
But I reckon tt's where my problem arises
How to release all these crap

Anger management?
BAH!!

Keane
2Oct'07