At times, I think of those who had conquered my heart

Some, I can remember our moments wif a snap of my fingers

Some, not worth a memory

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done stuff to chase them away from me for those I did. I do feel a tinge of regret.

But like wat 1 of them constantly reminded me, "live for the the present n the future. B happy. No joy when u keep thinking of the past".

But is it so ez?

I dun deny I think of the selected few. Yet, I've to b content wif the present. She has been great. I can't ask for much more. Sometimes, I feel guilty for thinking back. But I can't help it. Like nw.

I think of lotza "wat if's". Cuz I dun wanna repeat mistakes. Although, I know lots r based on bad habits. Yet, some of them r based on misunderstandings.

Is tis y I'm not successful in my work n my past r/s?

I know I'm not fickle-minded wif the ppl I wanna b wif. Juz tt, they were not willing to understand tt once I set my heart on someone, I won't waver.

But, they simply force me to

Right nw, I'm dating someone who accepts, so willingly, my flaws. The strange way my behaviour works. M I satisfied?

I seriously haf to qn myself n quit thinking too hard

i'm not supposed to allow it to overcome me. But it happens. I've taken to enuf stuff to keep me going n they r not gd. I've become too over-reliant.

I'd like to think I'm a matured 28-yr-old who can keep a hold of myself.I indulge in stuff tt I can't afford, forcing myself to think of solutions to overcome these shortfalls. I end up pushing myself to the limit w/o realizing it.

My wayward handling of problems r wrecking havoc. N it's only thru here tt I'm admitting it. N even so, I'm surprised. Cuz I'd like to b the sponge still.

Looks like I've reached the stage tt I've really gotta squeeze it all dry, so tt I can start absorbing again.

Stay strong Keane. Cuz u've only yourself to rely on.

"Any kind of lackadaisical activity, any sort of diverting quiddity to take a person's mind off mundane, everyday, small-change troubles."
~Guy Friddell~