Enjoyed my Batam trip throughly wif her

We didn't do much. Made her happy wheneva I could.

I juz had to spoil it at end

Wif a moment of verbal folly

She hurt me wif she said. I had to defend myself.

I wish I stopped myself from saying wat I did

But I reckon I can't take them back

Only the happy moments r keeping me sane

Dumping the insignificant bad but keeping the good memories wif me

They say a woman doesn't make a man
In my case, she completes me
N I'm not even a man

Keane
30Aug'07

Made an effort to travel to Pasir Ris after work. Despite the fact I had to pack for tmr's trip n complete a part of my menu-engineering b4 leaving.

Tried to call the 2 gals throughout my way down to the east but no response. Thot their hp weren't wif them so I was cool.

But I'm keeping my anger in check nw cuz of how inconsiderate they r.

I understand she needs a rest n doesn't want me to come down to disturb her. But for goodness sake, the 2 gals had no bloody courtesy to inform me tt the ill one was already resting n other one was still entertaining her fren. If they had made the initiative to inform me b4hand, I dun think I'll feel so pissed off.

I really wish Cathy will change her mind cuz I know she's making an effort to get used to work n all. N she's proving herself already tt she's trying hard. She really has the potential. I really hope tt it's juz cuz of her fever tt it's driving her crazy n not work or anyone of us at all.

As a colleague n supervisor I think it's a waste she's thinking of changing her mind abt continuing here.

But as a fren to the 2 gals, I'm extremely disappointed.

I think I've enuf of carrying on abt them. I'm still VERY irritated.

Gonna cool down wif a Baron's wif Redbull

Kindness is loving more than they deserve

Keane
27Aug'07

U know I can't smile without u
I can't smile without u
I can't laugh n I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything 

U c I feel sad when u're sad
I feel glad when u're glad
If u only knew wat I'm goin' thru
I juz can't smile without u

U came along juz like a song 
N brightened my day
Who'da believed tt u were part of a dream?
Nw it all seems light years away 

N nw u know I can't smile without u
I can't smile without u
I can't laugh n I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything 

U c, I feel sad when u're sad
I feel glad when u're glad
If u only knew wat I'm goin' thru
I juz can't smile without u

Nw some ppl say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me 

N u c I can't smile without u
I can't smile without u
I can't laugh n I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything 

U c I feel glad when u're glad
I feel sad when u're sad
If u only knew wat I'm goin' thru
I juz can't smile without u...

Been having tis absolut need to drink n go crazy.

Well, I've been having my daily dose as usual. Fuz kept me company on Fri nite [I was on my way hm when he beeped me. So much for taking a bus to save cash.], Ben on Sat. I definitely didn't go crazy but at least they kept me alive till I went hm. Slept like a baby those 2 nitez. But in the midst of the sessions, I was keeping a check on my emotions. It was pretty difficult. It's tough to b unable to hold her, to hold myself back when I say something to her n so on. I feel I'm breaking down but juz keeping quiet of it all so it won't affect my work n the ppl around me. I thot tis staying in the bubble shit will work again. It obviously hasn't. I feel worse after work cuz I dun haf a different focus. My frenz n family haf been helpful but it doesn't seem enuf. I seriously dunno how long I can take all these.

Caught the latest Harry Potter instalment after work on my own. It's not as bad as wat Ben said. A lot of talking but I reckon tis is like a bridge for the next 2 which I bet will b bloody exciting. I hope.

N I missed her call. Dammit!!

There is no coming to consciousness without pain

Keane
15Jul'07

I heard something from Sam earlier when I was at WDC waiting for her. He said something abt obtaining tt acute 6th sense by the words or eye language of the person u r in contact wif. Mine's definitely not as accurate as I like. But after her confession, I reckon I'm more or less 50% there.

Tis entry is not gonna b abt how disappointed I m tt she skipped an unconfirmed date wif me on her bdae, or tt she didn't dare to tell me the truth, lest I break down n become a manic lunatic again. It's juz I'm glad I stuck out here at WDC.

It's not the kinda plc I really wanna work in. A cafe is not a fancy restaurant AT ALL. But the education is unbelieveable. The mgt style is definitely not in the league of Jul's. But in business sense n experience, perhaps only Clement can fight it out wif Sam.

We've broken off. Or to put it in a nicer language, tis is a cooling off period. So we can reflect wat we really want, to concentrate on studies [for her], n career [for me]. I'll wanna ask her again. But not nw. She needs the space.

Will keep working on tt 6th sense thingie. It'll b something if I can work it out on a personal level.

The voice of conscience is so delicate tt it is easy to stifle it;
but it is also so clear tt it is impossible to mistake it

Keane
25Jun07

Thot I learnt my lesson, obviously not
Tis episode hurt me real bad
Not gonna say when it happened
Nothing nice to talk abt
Enuf is enuf
I still want her back

Anywayz

Brought her out for shopping at Bugis n dinner at Garabaldi last nitez. Her bdae. She obviously enjoyed herself. Her smile was so radiant. She seemed disappointed wif the prez I gave her thou. I sorted out green n blue m&m's n put them in a jar. Put 10 stars wif msgs among the chocs. She thot it wasn't impressive. Likened it to the lil' plant wif msgs hung on it which she gave me on our 1st v-day together. I was pretty hurt cuz she didn't seem to like it n I was so stressed out doing it the nite b4. Thot we could go chill out after tt but the boyz called her so she went sing song wif them. I went out wif Ben instead. Drank loadsa Heineken as usual. Wanted to send her hm after tt but she was back already so o well...

Wanted to take her to the beach. But she's out wif her classmate. Hopefully I can go meet her for drinks later.

Gonna meet Fairoz nw. Need some company.

Someday, when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I will feel a glow juz thinking abt u
N the way u look tonite

Yes u're lovely, wif your smile so warm
N your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love u
N the way u look tonite

Wif each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fear apart
N tt laugh tt wrinkles your nose
It touches my foolish heart

Lovely... Nv eva change
Keep tt breathless charm
Won't u pls arrange it?
Cuz I love u
Juz the way u look tonite

Keane
24Jun07

Haf to b un-commented
[Sorry for being inconsiderate]

Haf a tendency to b irritating
[ie repetitive]

Tend to seem outta point
[Different mindset? It's alright. I'll adapt]

Will b wat I think of carefully b4 I open up
[At least I know I'll try]

Pls dun blame me for opening up my thots
I need some space to let my feelings out

I only need someone to open my heart to
N u're the 1st I think of

M I wrong to react the way I do?

Anywayz, it has been a yr n a half. My heart still beats faster than it usually does when I c u or pick up your calls. I dun think tt will change in the near future yet.

Keane
8Jun'07

She didn't like the super slack version of me
[I've been in tis manner for so long I'm nonchalent]
--> She asked me if I thot it was alright for a person my age to b so un-image conscious

Her dad would qn her
[He saw me apparently]

She means so much to me till I think I may forgo my surfer dude outlook tt I'm used to for so long as long I'm out wif her

I mean... She's the world to me [besides my passion for my work]. I shld haf known betta tt she keeping silent doesn't mean she doesn't mind. She's a young lady after all. How can she tahan her other half so slack-looking while she makes the effort to dress up? *sighz*

Looks like I've gotta change my mindset

Keane
2May07

Heard so much from Sam for the last few days abt Bruno. Apparently, he was sacked, not resigned. He was telling me how incompetent Bruno was. I simply didn't know wat to say.

Anywayz, Bruno jumped ship to Mussel Guys. Asked me n Fairoz to join him. Impossible for me, cuz I had sorta painstakingly set up White Dog Cafe wif the guys n to ask me to help him there, is akin to destroying my hard work. Sorta disappointed to know he went there. But o well... Seems like he's pretty intent in bringing us down. Poached my staff, heard he's changing his menu to b similar like White Dog's, n even changed their ice water glasses to the same ones as ours! Gosh! So silly... I so wanna tell him to b more creative instead of trying to use our stuff. He may... I dunno... Try his luck to outdo Sam, but I wish him all the best. I've learnt Sam's shrewdness is amazing.

I'm glad we haf gained n won over our fair share of customers. Bb's frenz ate at Mussel Guys b4 n thot the food sucked big time. Told her they loved our food 100,000 times more than theirs. Our service win them hands-down too. Had the same feedback from a handful of customers who had their dining experiences in both outlets n had made comparisons. A couple of my regulars told me they felt like they were eating overpriced coffeeshop food there! N their ala carte items r way too ex. I seriously didn't know wat to say. They r excited n feel right at hm in White Dog cuz we know wat they want n we come up wif new food n drinks lately.

I applaud Michael n his new team for taking up the challenge in trying to improve on the food. I mean, there is definitely room for improvement n I bet all of us feel the same too. Esp to satisfy Sam's n our customers' expectations. I'm flattered when these customers compliment us for our service. It juz goes to show I've done my job. It's not complete of coz, but I'm still proud of our guys. Shows they make the effort to make our guests feel at hm. Well done!!

We juz gotta keep our momentum going. N the positives will not end.

Ppl do not wish to appear foolish;
to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they r willing to actually remain fools

Keane
18Apr07

I actually forgot I was supposed to send u hm today!!

I dun believe tis man...

Sorry bb... 1st n last time. It won't happen again... =(

I seriously need to work on my memory cells man

Keane
16Apr07