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Friday, November 20, 2009
It's been close to a year since I've blogged. Too many things haf happened along the way.
Taking of the outlet nw somehow but almost everyone n everything haf been giving me a headache somehow. Temper has softened in a way thou there has some much to improve on.
All I wonder is when shit at work will ever die off. I'm tired. I try to distract myself but it doesn't seem to work. Looks like I've to work harder doesn't it?
Let's c how it works out
I'm an abso|ut-|y deflated soul
Keane
19Nov2009
Posted at 03:36 am by Keane
Ebrious
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I've been trying, since I got tis baby, to cut down on my trips out for drinks n funI still wanna haf fun, but of coz I can't overdo itI think I've to thank Grandma in a way. Dan n Sheila haf to b away so I've to b ard to prop my own plc up. So looks like the late nitez out r cancelled, almost. Gotta ration my energy to take care of the gals n the plc. The invitations for gd-times-out r coming in thick n fast, but if I dun grab my opportunity here at work, I dunno when the next one will b.
Dear frenz, u can still ask me out but spare me from the days I do full shifts Almost all our faults r more pardonable
than the methods we resort to to hide them
~Francois de La Rochefoucauld~
Keane 12Nov08
Posted at 02:57 am by Keane
Ebrious
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
At times, I think of those who had conquered my heart Some, I can remember our moments wif a snap of my fingersSome, not worth a memorySometimes, I wish I hadn't done stuff to chase them away from me for those I did. I do feel a tinge of regret. But like wat 1 of them constantly reminded me, "live for the the present n the future. B happy. No joy when u keep thinking of the past". But is it so ez?I dun deny I think of the selected few. Yet, I've to b content wif the present. She has been great. I can't ask for much more. Sometimes, I feel guilty for thinking back. But I can't help it. Like nw. I think of lotza "wat if's". Cuz I dun wanna repeat mistakes. Although, I know lots r based on bad habits. Yet, some of them r based on misunderstandings. Is tis y I'm not successful in my work n my past r/s? I know I'm not fickle-minded wif the ppl I wanna b wif. Juz tt, they were not willing to understand tt once I set my heart on someone, I won't waver. But, they simply force me to Right nw, I'm dating someone who accepts, so willingly, my flaws. The strange way my behaviour works. M I satisfied? I seriously haf to qn myself n quit thinking too hardi'm not supposed to allow it to overcome me. But it happens. I've taken to enuf stuff to keep me going n they r not gd. I've become too over-reliant. I'd like to think I'm a matured 28-yr-old who can keep a hold of myself.I indulge in stuff tt I can't afford, forcing myself to think of solutions to overcome these shortfalls. I end up pushing myself to the limit w/o realizing it. My wayward handling of problems r wrecking havoc. N it's only thru here tt I'm admitting it. N even so, I'm surprised. Cuz I'd like to b the sponge still. Looks like I've reached the stage tt I've really gotta squeeze it all dry, so tt I can start absorbing again. Stay strong Keane. Cuz u've only yourself to rely on. "Any kind of lackadaisical activity, any sort of diverting quiddity to take a person's mind off mundane, everyday, small-change troubles."
~Guy Friddell~Keane
3Nov2008
Posted at 03:05 am by Keane
Ebrious
Saturday, October 11, 2008
They will nv comprehend tt I care
Tt I care differently
They will not realize I try my best constantly
Tt I try differently
They prefer to c the obvious and their preference than my silent yet significant efforts
Tt I dun haf to b the star
Wateva I do seem to b wrong?
For doing things differently fr u?
For expressing differently fr u?
For wat is a man, wat has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels;
N not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
N did it my way!
~Frank Sinatra~
Ppl always say
Silence Is Golden
Then I tell myself
"So I shall b the sponge n keep my damn mouth shut
So tt u all will b happy"
Saves lotz of breath
Time for a smoke n drink
Blissful indulgence
Keane 10Oct2008
Posted at 02:58 am by Keane
Ebrious
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Booze
Smoke
Lounging
Work
It had been an even blend of work n play. But it has been more of the latter so I've gotta b good.
Joy will b leaving us in the next couple of days. I'm really sad but keeping as much of a stoic face as I can. It's not ez cuz we'd grown close as colleagues n she's probably the only one who knows how to handle when I flip at work.
I guez everyone's rite when they say u can't get too emotionally attached to foreign workers. They will leave u one fine day. Tt's how it has been for the past year. I felt betrayal when the gals left. At least they're in town. But tis feeling nw is different. It's lousy but we haf to move on. I juz hope tis feeling doesn't become something extremely negative. It has been such tt my distrust in ppl haf grown so much tt I dun feel positive anymore. Not tt I show it to others. Wat can they do anywayz? I juz wish my lil' darling all the best.
It has been a sober bdae period for me n I thank myself I had the willpower not to get drunk n b stupid. I'm getting old. I can feel it. Thou I always tell ppl, "It's all in the mindset." Haha... The appreciations n priorities in life r so different from, let's say, 5yrs ago. Not a very long time, but I guez tt's how it's like when u feel settled down.
I do wish, however, tt my career would b smoother. I've reached such an age n mentality tt tis is simply not enuf! I've been telling myself to work on my flaws but... Urgh!.. it's juz so difficult to get away from the same old dumb mistakes.
I've to start trying to get fit again. I need to learn how to do so w/o forgoing my cigs n beer. Call me ingenius if I can find a formula. Haha...
Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations
~Faith Baldwin~
Keane 20Aug2008
Posted at 08:47 pm by Keane
Ebrious
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I remember lamenting abt this "circle of trust" thing wif ppl u consider
Your "Soul"
We bitch abt our superiors at work
We laugh, tease, check ppl out
We learn from one another
Then Juvel did it I thought it was for real that she was going to the US wif her other halfTill I had to find out on my own it was all so not trueShe came a couple of days to collect her pay n she didn't dare look at meShe said she was embarassedI heard her side of her story. But only after I told her I saw her at her workplace.She couldn't deny anymoreU know, I'm cool n happy u've found a betta jobMy role is to groom, to nurture, to manage, to b betta than I m at my jobBut I'm not here to b given a slap for asking for some honestySometimes I question my ability to manageI communicate wif my frenz n colleagues regularlyBut do I know u?Do I know myself?M I choosing wat I want to c n not admit there's a flaw?My 6th sense is giving me the creepsI know there's something going on ard meBut I won't say a thingBring it onOn a lighter note, the ppl outside work haf given me joy. I'm not saying the ppl I c 10hrs a day, 6 times a week r not, but I feel relief when I dun think abt tis shit.
Thank you Step out from the shadows of disappointments
Only will Happiness c lightKeane 20Jun08
Posted at 04:12 am by Keane
Ebrious
Monday, February 25, 2008
Had been at the airport wif Ym n Zy from late noon till juz. Trying to help Ym wif her Math. N it's gd Zy came too, knowing tt she wouldn't bother working on her revision if she didn't come.
Seeing how flustered they r while working on their sums reminds me of my high sch days. My mates n I would b unwittingly racing one another to complete our qns accurately in the shortest time. It did me well wif gd stead. But I feel bad when I gif Ym sums n she gets so stressed out. Told her tt I'd c her once a week not to go out n haf fun but to help her wif her Math. I mean, I know tt's the only thing I can help her wif in terms of sch. O n Eng n F&N too.
I'm glad to c Zy working hard on her sums too. She really needs someone to push her to study. She's so damn smart, yet super lazy. Hopefully I can b of help to them in tis final stretch towards their 'O's.
Been hearing different stories abt things between Fuz n Peg, n it makes me wonder y ppl can't make a r/s less complicated. I mean ppl already know wat's going on between them yet they haf to make it so difficult to comprehend. Is it tt fun?
At least I know things r going cool on my side. Currently working hard to learn how to get over tis difficult period at Wdc. The kitchen will b going thru a transition for the 3rd time. Y can't they b more open? It was tough for me too. But once I removed tt barrier of stubborn-ness I came thru well. My only problem is tt I can't move on faster than I hoped cuz of all these problems. My career progress is going thru a long pause cuz of tis n I wonder how long more tis will take again. Juz praying for the best.
Despite it all, I've been loving tis couple of mths. Work, despite its hiccups, has been alright. My frenz luv me more 'cept... Juz tt 1 troublemaker. Redundant. N someone has been treating me betta than I deserve.
Thank you for loving me
Keane
25Feb08
Posted at 11:36 pm by Keane
Ebrious
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I wonder how ppl define "circle of trust"
Understanding? Faith? Blindness?
It is somehow baffling when a person u haf shared weal n woes wif suddenly lose consciousness bcuz he didn't know wat to do
I mean... Is it so difficult? To me, it's a snap of the fingers if u know how to handle my emotions. I'm not a difficult person to handle. I listen. I may lose my cool for a short while but I'm not unreasonable. I reckon I'm matured enuf to handle the weight of situations.
But wait... I dun consider tis a huge thing to go bonkers abt. U r juz going out wif her. N we've broken up for sometime alr. It doesn't matter who she's wif as long she's well taken care of. Tt's all I ask for.
Friendships, as well as those ships I can trust to put my heart n souls into, r my utmost importance. I dun think it's so hard to put any ranking into family, work, frenz, n gals. But is there a need?
I guez if ppl understand me enuf, I dun even need to post tis. Unfortunately not. Perhaps a handful of them, to gif them some credit.
I've been happy. Thank Y.O.U.
I'm a piece of art
I dun haf to work on myself,
N I'm not complicated
Perhaps u shld
Keane
16Jan'08
Posted at 11:19 pm by Keane
Ebrious
Monday, October 22, 2007
Shock
Bewilderment
Disappointment
Tt's wat summed up my feelings on Sat nite
But I'll stay cool no matter wat
Well, I guez there's nothing I can do but only feel tt way, can I?
Ha!
I hoped n wished tt she could spend Sunday wif me
but she chose to head out wif Ade instead
Wat did I say b4 abt my making wishes?
They nv did come true n it has happened again
Imagine how delighted I was when she agreed dinner wif me tonite!
But again, I've been let down
Not her fault tis time, cuz she has a company dinner
But when will all these end?
I've loved, I've hoped, I've made efforts
All came to naught
Well, there's always the positives out of the problems Stayed home all of yday n today Drank, watched tv n managed time to go for a long swim Absolut lounging Tried to call a couple of "long-time-no-c" frenz but well, Sunday is usually family day so tt sums it all up N kept my evening free for her, till tt happened Gonna go on wif tv-watching n drinking Truth has no special time of its own
Its hour is now -- always
Keane 22Oct07
Posted at 08:22 pm by Keane
Ebrious
Sunday, October 07, 2007
She left me 10 yrs ago
U haf done the same nw
Thou in different circumstances, both r for the reason
2 ladies, who I gave my all to, left me for who I m
The ones in between made my heart ache less
I think they will all think I'm an ass
But I dun care
Immensed in work n talk too much crap with company
Drinking, staying in my own world or sleeping when alone
I dunno how else to keep myself sane
Keane
7Oct'07
Posted at 04:12 am by Keane
Ebrious
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